The last time I purchased running shoes I was in a bit of a rough patch in my relationship with running. I was heart broken and physically broken and I was looking for a quick fix to my plantar facia issues... and my psychological issues ; )...turns out there is nothing quick about fixing plantar fascitis or shattered dreams. It's been 9 months and over 1,500 miles since that pair of shoes. I know what you're thinking, "no wonder your PF has taken so long to improve, you should have gotten new shoes at least 3 times since then." Maybe you're right. I've been putting it off like most everything smart and responsible in my life, just waiting to feel normal again. But of course that is unrealistic. There is a new normal in my life. The days of being a student athlete are gone. I will never go back to the way things were. It's in my personality to never be satisfied, to learn something about how to make myself better everyday so that next time I will be more successful. Up until that last pair of shoes my life has been about 'next times'. But it wasn't until yesterday that I finally realized that I've been waiting for a 'next time' that will never be. This time it wasn't about a failed race strategy, or a mistake in training, or preparing better mentally. Before moving on I needed to shift my perspective, and realize that further improvement required a new sense of identity.
So, these new shoes symbolize a new kind of 'next time'. They symbolize an end to the waiting. They are the first of many opportunities to learn from my weakness and make myself better as a graduate student, as a coach, as an individual runner, or most importantly as a family member and friend.
As for my old shoes, they will have a new home in track surface somewhere. It's about time, too. Both literally and figuratively those old shoes are falling apart...and, of course, they smell.
My Mama always said you've got to put the past behind you before you can move on.
-Forrest Gump
Starting a new chase,
Laura
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