Happiness

Happiness is finding a pencil.
Sleeping in moon light.
Telling the time.
Happiness is learning to whistle.
Tying your shoe
For the very first time.
Happiness is playing the drum
In your own school band.
And happiness is walking hand in hand.
Happiness is two kinds of ice cream.
Knowing a secret.
Climbing a tree.
Happiness is five different crayons.
Catching a firefly.
Setting him free.
And happiness is being alone every now and then.
And happiness is coming home again.
Happiness is morning and evening,
Daytime and nighttime too. 
Happiness is having a sister.
Sharing a sandwich.
Getting along.
Happiness is singing together
When day is through,
And happiness is those who sing with you.
Happiness is morning and evening,
Daytime and nighttime too.
For happiness is anyone and anything at all 

That's loved by you.  

From "You're a Good Man Charlie Brown"  

I've been spending a lot of time recently finding the 'happiness is' in my life.  Reverting to a simpler time when life was about exploring and make believe and singing for fun, not as a competition to be an American idol, or because anyone really wants to listen, or because I'm trying to show off that I know the latest "good song" but singing because it makes me happy.  I miss the times when my responsibilities consisted of sweeping the bathroom floor once a week, and helping fold laundry before going out to play. 

My desire to be back in grade school is likely a reaction to the speed at which my life is changing.  I love my graduate classes and I even enjoy living at home again but I'm incredibly scared about what comes next.  Honestly, I don't mind change as long as it is gradual, one thing at a time. But my goodness, I feel like I'm still coming through the firestorm after leaving the familiar and structured little world of Carleton, to a big city and trying (admittedly not especially hard) to feel a little less like an outsider and traitor.  The possibility that in a year or less I will be on my own, starting a career, making ends meet, and paying off my student loans is the monster under my bed right now.  Its enough for me to consider learning to apply a little makeup, finding myself wealthy man to marry and having his babies...I do think it would be pretty neat to be pregnant...this post is taking a turn for the worst, my apologies.

Luckily, I have some brave people in my life to keep me on track, and reveal that most of my monsters are fictional or at least invisible.  As the saying goes 'Everything works out in the end, if it hasn't workout it's not the end.'  So for now I'm going to continue naively enjoying my happiness, and doing what I do best procrastinating being a grown up.

Chasing two kinds of icecream,

Laura